Posts in Running Story
2018 Indianapolis Monumental Marathon

I have spent the last couple of days processing what happened. Trying to figure out how to deal with it. How to move past the experience. How to continue to move towards my goal. How to stay confident. It has been hard. I was ready and capable to run sub 2:45 on Saturday. I was doing it. The marathon is a beast. You can be in the best shape of your life and lose it in the final 5k. Mentally I needed this. I came up a bit short. But I have more opportunity and a team of people to help get me there. Time to keep fighting.

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Training Update!

Coming off of Grandmas in June, I was excited to get back to training. I had turned a corner and was ready to keep the momentum going. August started off with the Sir Walter Miler and ended with an RDP team weekend in Asheville and Big Bird Camp in PA. September was a month long celebration of RDP with a block party and our anniversary race, the VA 10-Miler. It has been busy but oh so worth it. Read on for my full fall training update including how InsideTracker has made an impact on my training and racing!

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HOME SQUAD: RDP + Oiselle

Being part of a team. It’s the one consistent element I have had in my life since the age of 4. Whether I was on the soccer field or racing through a cross country course, having a team around me has always made life a little better. From Jr. Striders to Apex High, to NC State, Oiselle, & the Raleigh Distance Project, support has always been a game changer. Support that I think American distance running needs more of. Luckily, Oiselle agrees and the two teams I love are joining forces. Meet the Home Squad: RDP+Oiselle.

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Training Update

For the first 4 months of this year I was just going through the motions. Following my training, going to the gym, meeting with my strength coach, and getting PT. I was maintaining everything but it all felt stagnant. In February we tried to dive back into normal training and my body couldn't handle it. I couldn't even make easy runs feel easy. For a while I was just desperately looking for answers which affected me mentally. I went to a doctor who made me feel like everything was in my head. In moments of weakness I believed him and felt like this was it. Maybe this is just where I am now. But, between my functional medicine doctor and my primary care doctor we finally figured it out. I used Jasyoga's Work-IN to stay centered and now here I am. With 3 weeks to go to Grandmas, I know I can do this.

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The Run Struggle is Real

In the last few years I have been struggling to see the potential that I know is within me. I’ve shared my experiences and worked at being better for myself. I’ve expressed my vulnerability and laid it all out. Through it all I have always tried to spin each situation in a positive light. To label it as a learning experience, proclaiming to bounce back in an epic fashion. But what do you do when you don’t bounce back? When you’ve taken the steps to become better and it falls short? When you think you are being your best self but you're feeling worse than you ever have? You put away your pride and reach out for help. (Read the rest on the Oiselle Blog - this is a post from March)

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And that's how it all started...

The minutes ticked by but the darkness still remained. An eerie stillness captivated my thoughts as I looked out at the road before me. I wait for the clock to turn over to 5:00AM signalling the start of the run. It was now or never. I slowly ease into the pace, matching my breath with my stride, and I go. For 2 years this was my life, alone, in the darkness, motivated by thoughts of what would come. Then one day I found someone willing to occasionally sacrifice sleep to join me at an hour when we outnumber cars on the road. Over time it went from just the 2 of us, to 3 or 4. I had to do what I had to do, so no matter who could join I was out there. On the days when I ran alone I was just thankful to have them at all. This was what it means to be a team. We did what we had to do and that was that. And as this group grew, and our runs became more regular, I had bigger thoughts. We need a team here. Through the last several years, the Raleigh running community has been a support system to me. It's kept me going. Raleigh has something real and we see that each year as the Sir Walter Miler gets bigger and bigger. As our group runs became more frequent so did our desire to make something of ourselves. So we did it. And that was how it all began...The Raleigh Distance Project.

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Recovering from Secondary Amenhorrea. This is My Story.

In writing this post I had a hard time starting. Putting the words down on paper felt awkward and scary. I felt like a fraud. But when I found the courage to post about it a month ago, the response from women dealing with the same thing was bigger than I had expected. Seeing how that post impacted others made me realize that I needed to put myself out there. Hypothalamic Secondary Amenorrhea is more common than most think and that is likely because it is either not discussed or is misunderstood. Runners are wired to think that more is better, but in reality, balance is what runners really need. So here it is, this is my story.

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Breaking My Silence

With the start of 2017, came the start of much more. I had come to the decision to do something bold. Something I was scared to do. I was worried what people would think. I was worried about how my coworkers would feel. I had feelings of insecurity not knowing if I was making the right decision putting running higher on my list. I felt impulsive and reluctant to change but I had this feeling in my heart that I had to do it. I had to give myself a chance to succeed. But making big decisions don't come easy. They test you. They through everything at you to see how you will respond and I'm finally here to say that I've made it. 

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CNO Financial Indianapolis Monumental Marathon - Debut Recap

Just about 9 months ago, and about 4 days after the trials, I sat in my room at the Yosemite lodge replaying the race over and over in my head. I closed my eyes and all I could see was Figueroa St. and the endless stretch of road ahead. I could still feel the burning in my legs, the tightness in my chest and the pain in my heart. The worst part of all was the constant visions of me stopping. As I sat on the bed of our room staring off into space I turned to my boyfriend and whispered the words “Am I going to be okay?”

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Hall of Fame, Bird Camp, Race. My weekend and how it all ended.

What started as a week marked with stress and a slight mental breakdown ended in a profound way. I had planned to embark on a crazy expedition of driving from Raleigh to Blowing Rock, then back to Apex, then back to Blowing Rock, Blowing Rock to Charlotte, and then flying out to Boston and eventually back to Raleigh, all in 5 days, potentially during a hurricane, and all before a race. This is how it ended...

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